Lapse

I've been thinking a lot about the word exchange.  I will not be joining my artistic companions in Denmark, and the nature of my exchange will be filtered.

Philisophically I find this very interesting.  Thre are only so many experiences we, with our limits, can have.  There are newspapers, novels and friends.  But when opening our lens to the world, even the neighbourhood next door, it seems, we need to invite more.

Something should happen in an exchange.  Something zingy.  A moment of recognition.  Like what happens when you look down and see your shape squished in tall grasses, moonlight filling it.

When I think of exchange, I imagine a lapse in emotional distance, connection in the midst of context laid sometimes with care, sometimes thoughtlessly, sometimes by chance.  From this vantage, a major part of any exchange is actually the background:   your life's accumulation of sleep, the number of times you have known yourself wrong, good;  whether you count swiftly, slowly by ones, tens, hundreds, zeroes.

SEVEN is seven people sharing one context some of the time.  We meet for three hours once a month, mostly doing business.  Ok, so who is going to write that grant?  The blog schedule is as follows....   My job is to write the agenda and make sure we stay on track so we can get the work done.  I like creating a safe place for others and myself.  I like laying the context and don't mind when it is dull, flat, distanced.  But my job is also to make sure we get the business done, so there is time to share our art, our experiences, laughs.

Even after the agenda is followed and everyone has had a chance to speak  ...we often want more.   I don't even think I know what it is precisely.  But I do know when it has happenned.

At the last meeting of SEVEN, I explained that I just didn't know how to respond artistically to the Denmark show.   I was truly happy for everyone going ...but that wasn't cutting it.   Emotionally, I felt too disconnected.   They said, well, you could write about that.  "Oh great." I laughed with them; then with a deepened radio announcer voice boomed,  "The indifference of Kelly."

Not exactly something to be proud of; but potentially, a starting point.